Anxiety and Trauma

Many therapies try to help us replace old tapes with new more positive messages, or offer ways of reframing problems. Sometimes this works but often fails or at least takes a lot of effort to keep them away. We are almost battling our own minds when we do this. Instead of trying to change thoughts or replace tapes, I seek to help you get curious about them. When you can truly do that, you can then begin to appreciate that these were valuable coping skills to help you with past events in your life. Once that is clear, new tapes or messages and beliefs can take hold, without effort.  

The brain is part of our miraculous nervous system. It is part of, not the leader over the rest of our bodies. The neurons in our brain are also in our hearts and guts which help to make make us the creative, soulful and amazing human beings that we are. We do not need fixing, we often need validation and liberation, to be seen fully. Therapy is a sacred space for this work. 

When we experience a fearful event(s) (neglect as a newborn up through war) our bodies find all kinds of ways to communicate with us to survive. When we didn't get the help we needed in the moment to recover from these anxiety provoking events or traumas, our system can get easily triggered. We can go into fight, fight, flee and/ or fawn responses even if the present day situation does not call for it. 

This often leads us to pursuing therapy to "control" our feelings, stop bad memories and stop behaviors we believe are interfering with our lives (obsessive thoughts, compulsions, binging, reliance on substances, emotional spiraling etc.) 

Therapy for Anxiety and Trauma will help what medications cannot address, the actual wounds that caused the symptoms or behaviors that are bringing you to therapy. The irony is when our nervous system is reacting (heart pounding, panic rising) it is simply doing what it was built to do. The avenue for change is to move towards the pain, comfort those wounded memories of ourselves and update the system that you are safe now, not a neglected infant any longer, not in the abusive relationship and more.

How Do You Work With Anxiety and Trauma?

First and most importantly, starting therapy with someone new can stir up feelings of anxiety. I am glad to hear it, I am a stranger and you need to feel safe to go to places you might not have before. Secondly, venturing into trauma can feel scary, you may have put it off for years. However you arrive here, we will work on feeling comfortable together first and in every session after that. There is a saying in IFS, "we go at the speed of trust"...you trusting me and most importantly, you trusting yourself.  

Here are three specific modalities that I employ:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – IFS is sometimes referred to as "parts" work and was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS helps you connect with various aspects of your personality and your inner world. By making deeper connections on the inside, we can understand ourselves better, unburden from past pain and create space for more joy, confidence and freedom back into our lives. 
• Somatic IFS – Somatic IFS was developed by Susan McConnell and the focuses on somatic awareness, the breath, movement, touch and resonance to help us live more embodied lives.  Many who have lived through physical or sexual violations will fear their body or feel disconnected from it. This is a natural response to those experiences. SIFS helps us get curious about the wisdom of our body and in time, reconnecting to feel at home in our bodies again.  
• Mindfulness – Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of the present moment without judgment, pressure, or agenda. I like to say, "ironically, mindfulness is noticing inside without being in our heads too much". When we can be Mindful, we can fully live in a moment without worrying about the past or getting caught up about the future. 

Reading Ideas (not required): 

"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk

"The Myth of Normal" and "When the Body Says No" by Gabor Maté

"No Bad Parts" by Dr. Richard Schwartz

"To Be Loved" by Dr. Frank Anderson

"The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color" by Natalie Guttiérez

"Anchored" by Deb Dana

"The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

"The Miracle of Mindfulness" by Thich Nhat Hanh